I became a mother at the age of 16, married my daughter's father, and was getting divorced by the time I graduated from Columbine High School in 1993.
I spent the next 8 1/2 years as a single mom until I married my husband at age 26. We suddenly started learning how difficult a blended family can be -- with my daughter and his 3 girls...and 2 exes. We also discovered how rewarding a blended family can be despite the difficulties.
Less than 7 years later, I thought I was living my dream life until we suddenly separated, due to circumstances I'd been unaware of. We'd had 3 kids together, the youngest was only 3 months old.
I became a single mom again, with 4 kids this time.
I started preparing divorce papers when something spoke to my heart: "Wait..Let's see what he does with this". So I waited and watched.
Meanwhile, my husband and I started learning how to rebuild ourselves and our relationship. I began to understand that people who've made big mistakes can and do change, if they're willing to do the internal work. We both started learning how to change our thoughts, words, and behaviors to support us in becoming who we each desired to be.
I began to recognize that even though I grew up in a happy, loving family, my husband did not. I started to understand the effects that childhood trauma has on a person. And I noticed that the trauma my kids and I were going through was having an effect on us -- individually and as a family.
After a 3 year separation, my husband and I were able to fully reconcile. We had so much to navigate. We had to learn how to communicate, how to get vulnerable, to have compassion, to forgive, to let down walls.....and so much more.
Learning how to work through these things is what has allowed us to create a warm, loving, and fulfilling marriage. We've both spent the last 16 years studying, reading, listening, getting trainings & certifications, but above all else -- a whole lot of trial and error -- being committed to figure it out..
...To figure ourselves out individually and figure our marriage out together.
My goal is to help other couples discover that it's never too late to have a warm, loving, and fulfilling marriage (regardless of what they've been through) if they're both willing to do the internal work. And teach them how using the skills we've learned, with less trial and error than we went through.